Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Why Technology and I Don't Talk Much

It would appear that technology and I have a very tremulous relationship, especially technology that doesn’t belong to me. Recently my phone suffered from a serious fall which shattered the glass screen. Amazingly the touch screen and phone itself still seem to work. However, I do have some reservations about putting a pane of shattered glass to my face so Josh was kind enough to lend me his phone until he can either fix mine or I get a new one. I’ve used Josh’s phone before, if only just to play Robot Unicorn Attack and Fruit Ninja, and my phone was similar to his. So I did have a good grasp on how the phone worked prior to receiving it. I’ve borrowed his phone many times before this, in very brief snippets and had never run into any problems but this time the phone seemed to sense that something was different. I can only assume that the phone now realized that I was acting as its primary handler and responded poorly to this. Anything I asked it to do was met with either defiance or a completely different action altogether. The first few interactions between Josh’s phone and I went something like this:

Me: Phone would you mind dialing the number of my friend Kat?
Phone: No.
Me: Please phone? I would very much appreciate it.
Phone: No. And now I’m going to turn off for no reason because I hate you!
Me: Phone, that’s not very nice, now please turn back on and dial Kat’s number.
Phone: No! I’m going to freeze at the home page and not let you do anything now!
Me: Now phone…
Phone: F*** You! You’re not my dad! You can’t tell me what to do! I’m going to shut off again for no good reason!

After a few minutes of arguing back and forth like this I finally get the phone to work properly and seemingly regretting how it behaved before, the phone was now trying to be super helpful to the point of annoyance. 

Phone: You want to dial Kat? Here, and I’ll dial your friend Nick for you too!
Me: No phone that’s not necessary I only want to talk to Kat, please don’t dial Nick.
Phone: Toooooo latttttte :D

After hanging up on both my friends I receive a call back from my friend Kat who I’d been trying to reach for the past twenty minutes. Everything at this point seemed to be going fine until the phone decided to be annoyingly helpful again.


Phone: Do you still want me to call Kat? Here, I’ll call her now!
Me: No phone! I’m already talking to her you don’t need to dial her again..ah OK fine. -.-

The phone’s helpfulness didn’t seem to get in the way too much that time and I was able to complete my phone call with only some minor confusion. As I was walking back from the car the phone seemed to get the impression that I was angry with it and tried to make nice.

Phone: Are you mad? I’m sorry. Here, let me call girlfriend and you will feel better.
Me: No phone I am girlfriend, I do not need to talk to me to feel better, stop it!

I guess I hurt the phone’s feelings after that because it proceeded to stop talking to me for the rest of the evening. We clearly need to work on our communication skills whilst my phone is in the process of being broken.

P.S. Sorry for no pictures but my laptop is also broken and I do not have Photoshop on my old computer. Here's a picture of Momo in a coconut to make up for it. :P